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It seems that people in this country (USA) are getting further and
further away from the old–time, so–called "common sense", and someone with eyes to see and ears to hear can literally
witness it happening... and it is getting worse – seemingly with each
passing day. It's hard to imagine that the country I love and fought for
in Vietnam,
has strayed so far from sanity, and it is even harder to imagine how
people get away with the things they do. In my time, as I was growing
up, I was always under the impression that a grown man or woman is
ultimately responsible for the actions he takes, or the actions he or
she avoids taking. Such is not the case today. I'll cite a few examples
which illustrate my point, and then I'll tie it in to what this little
essay has to do with LASERS.
A woman drives up to the take–out window at a popular Burger Franchise.
With her breakfast, she orders a cup of coffee. Of course, she orders it
"black", and so no milk or cream to reduce the temperature of the brew.
She drives away with the cup of coffee cradled between her knees, the
car hits a bump (or must stop suddenly) and the lid pops off,
spilling hot coffee in her (ahem!) lap. Third degree burns in delicate,
sensitive places. She
sues the Burger joint. The jury applying the nebulous and legally
contorted
principle of comparative negligence awards her megabucks. "Pain and
Suffering", y'know?
Question: Did jury selection for that trial confine itself to the residents of
the psychiatric ward at Belleview or Creedmoor?* Is this retarded, or
what? I wonder what Judge Judy
would have to say. I'm surprised that after this bit of litigation, cups of coffee
are not dispensed requiring a written disclaimer:
I, the undersigned, being of sound mind, do hereby indemnify Maude
Frickett's Burger & Coffee Bistro against any and all damages, injuries,
traumas, inconveniences, illnesses, and any and all other ill-effects
that may be brought about by my purchase and / or consumption /
non–consumption, use or misuse, failure to use, or otherwise abuse of my
(check and initial the appropriate box):
[] _____ Coffee (black – any size)
[] _____ Coffee (regular
– any size)
[] _____ Coffee (flavored
– any size)
[] _____ Carmel Latte' Michael J. Bitsko**
– Notary Public
[] _____ Chocolate Latte'
[] _____ Hot Cocoa (any
size)
NOTARY SEAL
Sworn before me this day, December 8, 2010
_______________________________________
Customer signature
Moral of the story: Next time go to Starbucks.
Don't laugh so hard – it
may soon come to this – I mean filling out liability waivers for a cup
of coffee.
I want to propose a hypothetical scenario: Suppose you go into a tool
store and buy a
Radial Arm Saw. You've never used such a tool before, but what does
it matter? It looks really cool! You walk up to the salesman and say,
"I gotta' get me wunna deeze"***,
pointing out the largest 10-inch saw in the store. The cashier rings you
up, and you're off to finish your basement.... or so you thought.
In the process of putting the saw together (it comes in pieces –
in "kit" form), you just-about get done, you plug it in – and forgot to
do STEP 45 in the instructions which states:
"Make sure the power switch is in the
OFF position before plugging in the saw".
You connect the electrical cord to the outlet with the switch in the
"ON" position, and the Radial Arm Saw lives up to its name; it saws your
arm off – radially.
Questions: Is the manufacturer of the Radial Arm Saw responsible for
your bloody arm lying on the floor? How about the store that sold it to
you? Is the seller responsible to ascertain whether or not you are
qualified, capable, or intelligent enough to read and follow directions?
Are the directions written in your language? ("press
'1' for English"). Should they
have compelled you to take a
Radial Arm Saw Safety Course before they allowed you to take the
thing home? WHO is responsible for paying for the
microsurgery
that will take 4 surgeons 18 hours to sew your arm back on?
Of course, SANE people know the "common sense" answers to these
questions, but it seems there are a bunch of lawyers out there who can
persuade a jury that "common sense" doesn't matter; that a person who
buys a cup of steaming hot coffee is not responsible for reasonable care
not to burn herself with it.
Another hypothetical: I as a retailer, sell you a set of silver
grapefruit
spoons. You as the customer take the spoons home, unwrap them, and
then proceed to gouge your eyeball out with one. Am I, the seller
responsible for your "abuse" of the spoons I sold you? I'll bet there is
a silver–tongued
ambulance–chaser
out there who can convince a jury that it was MY responsibility to
administer a
Rorschach test to you before I sold you those silver spoons!
The last hypothetical: I sell you a hand–held
LASER. I advise you that the LASER
is very powerful, and it can be dangerous if misused – just as a 3-Horsepower Radial Arm Saw is dangerous if misused – or indeed, if not
used by a reasonably-skilled operator. I as a seller have no way to determine your
skill level, your knowledge, or your expertise. I make
all reasonable
efforts to determine that you are aware of the dangers associated
with this device. I tell you that
"you can look directly at this LASER
twice;
once with each eye". I
tell you not to tease your pets with this thing. You're over 18 years of
age, and by speaking with you, I have no reason to doubt your sanity,
and so I sell you the LASER. You go home, wait until dark, and proceed
to "light up" all the jets
flying over your house. Am I an
accessory before the fact to the crime you just committed?
Later on, you're playing this LASER
on the wall, and your 160-pound German Shepherd jumps up to chase the
dot, and pulls your 80-inch LED TV off the wall. What have I got to do
with it? Can you hire some tort lawyer to compel me to replace your broken TV?
When 3AM rolls around, you're tired so you lay down in your bed with the
LASER in the holster on your belt. You roll over and squash the "ON"
button. The LASER fires and sets your bed and your house on fire. You,
your wife, your kids, your dog, and your pet goldfish perish in the
blaze before the Volunteer Fire Department gets there. In putting out
the fire, two firemen are killed by exploding shotgun shells that you
had stashed in the dresser drawer. I guess you can surmise the question
I would ask here. I'd bet Judge Judy
would set you straight!
By the way, the IDIOTS who have used Hand-Held
LASERS to target aircraft
have caused the USFDA to start seizing LASERS being imported from
overseas – particularly China. Also, as of December 15, 2010,
Awesome Lasers has discontinued the entire line of our 532nm Green
LASERS. We don't want to be associated with pranksters or crackpots.
If you're thinking about getting a cheap
LASER from a Chinese supplier, or even a good one from WickedLasers, you may end up with nothing to show for
your money. If you thought you bought a 1,000mw, 2000mw, or 3,000mw
Green LASER from DHGate.com,
then I'm sorry to say that you're screwed on 2 counts:
1)
Sellers on DHGate claim ridiculous power
levels, and 2)
US Customs is seizing them. I am of the opinion that this legislation,
if passed, will cause those
who were thinking of buying a low-power LASER to build a much
higher-power unit instead. ALL government interference with free trade
only exacerbates the problems – and we have 200 years of history and an
interminable litany of examples to show that this is true. The CRETINS
who break the law have made it difficult for the rest of us who use this
technology responsibly, for legitimate research and experimentation, and within the confines of the law. You
can do your part.
I have a message for America:
MAN UP!!
WAKE UP
AND BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN ACTIONS,
AND STOP BLAMING AND SUING OTHER PEOPLE FOR YOUR OWN DAMN STUPIDITY!!
If you liked this little tirade, you would also
enjoy reading my editorial.
FOOTNOTES
*
Belleview and Creedmoor are famous
New York "loony bins".
**
Name is fictitious. Any
resemblance to persons living or no longer with us is purely
coincidental.
***
To borrow a line from Will Smith in the movie "Independence Day"
Independence Day
(and
for those things herein alleged, I believe them to be true) |
